Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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