yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
