If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
