Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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