peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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