u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
