anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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