Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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