Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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