Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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