YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
