your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
