Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
