Moan for me like Helen Keller
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
