I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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