You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm both gender and math confused
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
