Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Fuck appropriateness.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
