I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
