ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
