This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
