Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
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