ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
