Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
