actually, I'm a sock model
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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