Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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