Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
