i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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