I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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