these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
