We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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