so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
