you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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