Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
