Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We left an ass print on the piano.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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