and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
