In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
