So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize
