im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
