May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
where are you?
Hypothermia
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
