Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
