My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
