allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
