If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
