Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
