I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
