I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
