ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
