I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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