Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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