The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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