haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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